Barrel
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in
the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around
the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy
their urges when they're at sea for so long.
"Let me show you," says the captain.
He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it.
"This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."
The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.
"Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!"
"Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday."
"Why not Thursday?"
"That's your day in the barrel."
"Let me show you," says the captain.
He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it.
"This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."
The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.
"Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!"
"Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday."
"Why not Thursday?"
"That's your day in the barrel."
Two hunters ..
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes
out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Report card
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from
school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: ‘Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.’
Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: ‘Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.’
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: ‘Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.’
Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: ‘Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.’
Money letter
Dear
Dad,
$chool
i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With
all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would
like,
you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your
$on.
Dear
Son,
I
kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an
hoNOr
student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble
task,
and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
gud jokes..
ReplyDeletethnx...
Deletethe money letter is funny but my dad would send me a card with money if i needed some (im daddys little girl cant you tell)lol
Deletehahah u r lucky ...
Delete